I Want To Punch Myself in the Face
by ChrysaTea
Summary: Lia is a regular college student who experiences an unusual circumstance of somehow trespassing into someone's home entirely by accident. It's up to her to figure out what to do when somehow catapulting into a fictional world. AlphonsexOC


CH1 Nothing Makes Sense So I'm Going to Run Head First

 _Authors Note: I had another story planned out, but kind of abandoning Endless Lazy Days. This is just another take on how that story could have gone. Looking back on my old work, I wanted to punch myself in the face. In other words, here I am word-barfing my stream of consciousness into a somewhat coherent story. Hope you enjoy! If not, well, that's cool too._

She gritted her teeth, her jaw clenched. By "she", I meant the girl who looked like me. With vague curiosity, I dreamily watched as she walked along a dark alley. Never mind the overcast skies cluttered with blackened clouds. Never mind the incessant rain that fell. There was no comparison in the entire world that could accurately describe her sadness, almost palpable, that hung in the air. Before I could see anymore, I could feel the foggy haze of sleep gently lift ever so slightly. A thin stream of light fell right on my line of sight. A deep nagging filled my heart and filled me with a longing. I wanted to see what would happen to the girl who looked like me that always appeared in my dreams. More than anything, the uneasiness in my heart would not leave unless I satisfied my curiosity and hope for a happy ending.

Wishing to sleep again, I closed my eyes, buried my head into my pillow, and let the fog would overtake me again. Once more, I could see her in the alley way. The sleeves of her deep blue uniform were stained with a torrent of tears that had subsided.

"Happy birthday, Clara," she said tearfully, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

Come to think of it, I can't seem to remember this girl's name. The girl took a deep breath to compose herself, straightened her uniform, and strode out of the alley way. She walked out into the street and, through a series of twists and turns, ended up in front of some building. Before entering, she rummaged through her pockets and pulled out a large, silver pocket watch with some military symbol engraved in its smooth surface. With her other hand, she gently stroked its smooth surface with an eerie gentleness, a sort of calmness that seemed only to emerge with madness. She froze for a moment, staring ever so intently at the pocket watch before unceremoniously replacing the pocket watch into her coat. A fellow colleague in blue strode past her and opened one of the mahogany doors ahead of her.

"You coming in?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I-"

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO… The harsh shrill of my alarm yanked me away from the haze of sleep once more. I heaved a sigh before reaching over to my nightstand and grabbed my phone. Accidentally ripping my phone's charger's power cord out, I cursed before turning off the alarm. I had forgotten to turn off my automatic alarm the night before. As a result, I had the honor of waking up at 7AM on a Saturday. Eh, why not sleep more? It's 7AM, and I sure did not feel like being productive just yet. I set my phone back on my nightstand and stared out the window a bit. See, now, there's this weird thing about me and sleep. When I wake up, if I'm still sleepy enough, I can actually continue a dream that I was having before I woke up. It could even be a couple minutes of wakefulness, and even that wouldn't matter when it came to seeing that dream again.

There was something strange about this particular dream though… it was rare for me to experience the same dream picking up where it left off. My dreams rarely ever repeated, yet this girl kept on showing up consistently in the same context. Maybe it was because of this that I always felt unease when I dreamed about her, and, when I feel unease about a dream, I always want to go back to sleep and hope for a happy outcome. Normally, dreams never resolve well and I'm left feeling uneasy for the morning. Despite all this contemplation, I just wanted to go to sleep so I wouldn't have to get up and be productive just quite yet. Once again, like just before, and just like any other day, I fell asleep.

Boy oh boy, did I make the wrong decision.

I turned over in my bed and yawned loudly. Harsh light streamed through the window and shone tauntingly onto my eyes. Must be noon, I thought to myself. I gently sat up in bed and yawned once more. My eyes adjusted to the bright lights soon enough, and that's when I began to become confused. What I thought was my bed, wasn't actually my bed. It was quite firmer than what I was used to, and the blanket was not the soft duvet to which I was accustomed. The room was painted in a pleasant yellow with warm, brown wooden floors. The room had a simple drawing desk, a chair, a standing lamp, and a dresser. It also had doors, which was a good thing, wouldn't you know, because I wanted to get the heck out of there. I wanted to leave, but I was paralyzed. I wasn't paralyzed with fear. I wanted to take in my surroundings before doing anything.

Everything seemed quiet. Not eerily so, just a nice, soft quietness. I leaned towards the window and peaked out. A view of endless fields of grass, dotted with hills and homes, greeted me. A large black dog leapt and bounded towards the house. From what I could gleam, I was on the second floor and somehow nowhere near my home or street or city apparently. I mean, it wasn't like I couldn't tell this wasn't "Kansas" anymore seeing as I wasn't even in my own room.

There were quite a few scenarios I could think of as to what the heck just happened.

1) I was kidnapped and was currently being held hostage.

2) Someone was way too into their prank.

3) ?

4) Profit

Any possible idea that came into my mind seemed so absurd. With all the choices in the world, I thought that there wasn't much I could do other than explore a bit. By explore, I really meant possibly finding a police station or find a phone. Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing seeing as I had no idea what even happened. I mulled my options another moment and decided to assume a worst-case-scenario situation. In a worst-case-scenario, I would probably need something to defend myself. On my person was a nightgown. That's it. I could strip and strangle someone to death if need be, but the likelihood of success would most likely be very, very, very low.

I eyed the lamp. I gently shifted the blankets and tiptoed out of the bed towards the lamp. I unplugged it before setting it down on its side and pondered how to dismantle it. Luckily, I could just twist the top half of the pole off and was left with a thin pole and the stand of the lamp. Both the top half and bottom half of the lamp had their pros and cons as weapons, but I decided on the bottom half as I could probably stab someone more easily without having to worry about the glass bulb of the lamp shattering. Despite its supposed wonderful impaling abilities, I would have this awkward cord trailing me. I wound the cord around my hand and picked up the bottom half of the lamp.

Weapon, check.

I held the lamp awkwardly with my left hand and tiptoed towards one of the two doors in the room. I opened the one closest to the drawer only to discover that it was a closet filled with jackets, boxes of shoes, and some dress pants. OK, not the exit, but by process of elimination, it left me with one surefire exit… I hoped. I made my way over to the other door and placed my hand on the knob. I slowly and gently turned the knob. As I twisted it as much as it would allow, I pulled the door gently towards me. The door swung noiselessly to my relief. I untwisted the knob and swung the door wide enough for me to squeeze through with the lamp.

There was a hallway that stretched along the house and turned right. I followed the path cautiously and made sure that each step was as soundless as possible. I hadn't realized, but my heart began pounding like crazy and my breathing rate had increased. I grasped the lamp half with both hands, holding it in a way where I could stab anybody if I had to. I was doing all this, but I wasn't actually sure if I could do it… I turned the corner of the hall and found a flight of stairs. My ears barely registered a gentle snoring through the thumping of my heart that would not quiet down. My eyes scanned through the banister of the stairs and saw a figure lying down on a green couch with two small children lying on top of them.

The person had blonde hair tied up into a pony tail. They wore a simple white shirt and comfortable blue sweats. The gentle heaving of their chest was visible as the two infants rose up and down with each breath… and here I was, holding a lamp, and had been preparing myself to stab people. I stayed still in a somewhat crouching position as I watched the scene. Surely, if anybody walked into this situation, I would be considered a trespasser of all sorts, not to mention that I was ready to use full force. In the end, I couldn't risk it. I needed a way to protect myself, and all I wanted was to leave. That's all.

I scanned the room once more and saw a door near the couch the children and figure was resting. The windows by the door revealed that it would take me outside. I closed my eyes, counted to three to calm down, and opened my eyes. Time to go, it's now or never. I placed one hand on the banister and the other held the lamp. I took a step onto the stairs, testing it for any squeaky boards. It seemed safe, so I made my way down as quickly as I could without making too much noise. The figure and children didn't stir. I glided my feet along the floor towards the door. I stood next to the end of the couch and by the door. My heart had never beaten harder than at that moment. The door had a simple locking mechanism. I assumed it was probably locked, so I reached up and turned the locking mechanism. There was a soft click. I looked back at the still sleeping figure. Carefully, I reached out and turned the knob, never letting the figure out of my sight. I pulled the door towards me, and the door swung noiselessly. I stepped back, my eyes still on the figure, and opened the door wide. The moment it was wide enough for me to slip out, I steeled myself in a running position and bolted out the door.

Unfortunately for me, I ran head first into someone who happened to be standing just right outside of the door. They were larger than me, so the impact sent me flying back onto the ground. The lamp smacked onto the floor and out of my grasp..


End file.
